Loving Someone From A Distance

“As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” [Titus 3:10-11]

“If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.” [2 John 1:10-11]

Is there anything like loving someone from a distance? If so, is there Scripture which can help explain that to us? An area the word of God teaches us to love someone from afar is where there are people who cause divisions and people who teach wrong doctrine. The Bible does not mince words about these two kinds of people. Divisions separate the body of Christ and anyone who does that is at loggerheads with God. In order for us not to be judgemental, due process must be taken to help a divisive person. Paul says, “after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him” [Titus 3:10]. That so of implies that you distance yourself from that person. So, anyone who divides the saints or the church is pulpable of exclusion from church family life. The Bible says such a person is warped, sinful and is self-condemned. Love such people from a distance.

The other type of people who should be given space to live far from us are people who teach wrong doctrine. It is unfortunate that many believers think that doctrine and theology are bad things. They have been taught that people who have gone to Bible School and to Seminaries are not spiritual and do not have any ‘revelation’. I often hear it from people who do not want to submit to the teaching of the Bible. But there is danger in receiving and accepting these heretics. John the apostle of love says, “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.” [2 John 1:10-11]. Greeting him means having fellowship with him and an acceptance to hear his teaching. This will surely corrupt you and you will end up partaking in his deeds because people act out what they see and believe. ‘Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”’ [1 Corinthians 15:33]. The problem with wrong doctrine is that it leads people to Hell. You cannot have wrong doctrine and go to Heaven. Right doctrine, when believed, leads to God and wrong doctrine when believed leads to Hell. All roads do not lead to Rome. “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." [John 8:32]. 

We however do not want to use this teaching as a way to avoid loving people the way Christ commands us. God knows why He brings these situations into our lives and it is mainly that we may be more like Christ. But, let us look at things that may trick us from doing the will of God as we love people from afar. Here are some of the dangers we need to be aware of when loving people from a distance. [Social distancing?]. 

1) You may stop Doing Good: Do not stop doing good. You may have to reduce the frequency of contact but continue doing good to the people who offended you. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”. [Romans 12:17-21]. 

2) An inability to express love and mercy: Keeping a long distance between us and the people who have offended us may end up making us an unloving people who do not feel for others. Where we may be required to be sympathetic, some may end up saying God has repaid them for the evil they did against us. “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.” [Romans 12:17]

3) Arm’s length relationship: We may end up clustering everyone who offends us and put them in the "distance-zone" with no consideration of the level of offence. We grow through difficult times and hard moments and this may be God’s way to help develop Christ-likeness in us. Clustering everyone may leave us with no friends and with hearts full of bitterness against everyone. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” [Romans 12:18].

4) Out of sight out of mind: we must beware that once people are far from us, we may be tempted to put them out of our minds and not care about them at all. Keeping distance between us and them may cause us not to love our enemies which the word commands. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” [Romans 12:19]

5) Indifference: We may end up being indifferent towards them and not empathise with them when they are in need. We will not be able to use our God-given gifts to their benefit as a result. “To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  [Romans 12:20]

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About The Author:

Pastor Sam Machacka is co-founder of Brink Ministries Southern Africa. A wonderful colleague and good friend. Equipping Pastors and Church leaders in Southern Africa. He grew up in Harare, Zimbabwe with his beautiful wife Mildred and they are blessed with three lovely children namely Samantha, Munashe and Joshua but they are now serving as missionaries in Malawi since August 2018

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