Understanding what Paul meant by "I, not the Lord"?

What did Paul mean when he wrote, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord. Let not the wife depart from her husband” [1 Corinthians 7:10, KJV]? And what did he mean when he also wrote, “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away”, a couple of verses later [1 Corinthians 7:12, KJV]? How then can we be sure about other “controversial” issues that Paul addressed? Was it him speaking or was it the Lord?

It is without doubt that one of the most misunderstood inspired writers of the word of God is Paul the apostle. You either love him or hate him; understand him or miss him. I used to think he was prideful and did not like him because he seemed highly opinionated to even add his own thoughts to the word. But was I right? Let me quickly say I was wrong about him. 

Paul is largely misunderstood and this misunderstanding did not start in the twenty-first century, but it started way back in church history that even Peter wrote about him saying, “… our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures” [2 Peter3:15-16, ESV].

Firstly, Peter acknowledges the writing of Paul as having special wisdom; “… according to the wisdom given him as he does in all his letters…”. It is one thing to say something on your own but it is another when another inspired apostle acknowledges the wisdom and revelation given to you. Remember Peter walked, lived, and ate with the Lord for more than three years but Paul never had that experience yet Peter was humble to receive the word of God coming from a newbie. 

Secondly, we should note that Peter also acknowledged Paul’s letters as Scripture when he said “… as they do other Scriptures” [2 Peter 3:16]. This means what he wrote should not be taken as a suggestion but words breathed out by the Spirit of God because “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” [2 Timothy 3:16, KJV]. 

Many are confused and others say the Bible is not wholly inspired because of the “not I but the Lord” [1 Corinthians 7:10] and the “I, not the Lord” [1 Corinthians 7:12] statements that Paul made. As a result, some go off on a tangent in their doctrine and others disqualify the Bible saying it is not infallible or inerrant. And I would like to explain what Paul meant when he said these.

I, not the Lord

When Paul said “I, not the Lord” in 1 Corinthians 7:12, he was not saying he is bringing his own thoughts into the word, neither was he saying that he was bringing his culture into the mix. Like Peter who knew the letters that Paul wrote, Paul also knew about the gospels and therefore said the Lord Jesus did not mention anything about this specific issue of an “unequal yoke” marriage relationship in the gospels. The Lord did not teach about the dynamics of having one believing spouse and the other nonbelieving. When he said “I” in that verse he was referring to himself as an inspired messenger of the Lord who was laying down an inspired foundation on that subject. He was speaking the word of God and was not his giving his opinion.

There are some who justify divorce on the grounds that their wife or husband is an unbeliever or is draining their ministry. Notice however that Paul still maintains the teaching of our Lord on the issue of divorce. He says remain married and if you separate you do so but only to come back together again. “If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him” [1 Corinthians 7:13]. The believer is commanded to not divorce the unbelieving spouse and this teaching is consistent to what the Lord taught about divorce to which the disciples retorted, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” [Matthew 19:10]. We may deal with the subject of divorce in another blog.

“Not I, but the Lord” [1 Corinthians 7:10]

Now this one is the easier one to be received and to explain. No one gets confused about this because it is clear. Notice however that the command to not divorce given by the Lord is the same to every believer where the Lord addressed an issue and where He did not address. Since he/she is not under the authority of the word of God, only the unbeliever could divorce [1 Corinthians 7:15] but we do not see the believer being given the freedom to divorce.

“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him” [1 Corinthians 7:12] 

I believe in marriage as ordained by God and pray that your marriage may not be a grudge but a joy. Your marriage is critically important in your relationship with God, your children and your ministry; basically, every facet of your life. Unfortunately, quite a number of people are “successful” in their careers and ministries but complete failures in their marriages. You cannot have one and not the other. All are important, so fight for your marriage. Fight for your wife, fight for your husband because your marriage is worth fighting for. 

---------------------------------------------------------

About The Author:

Pastor Sam Machacka is co-founder of Brink Ministries Southern Africa. A wonderful colleague and good friend. Equipping Pastors and Church leaders in Southern Africa. He grew up in Harare, Zimbabwe with his beautiful wife Mildred and they are blessed with three lovely children namely Samantha, Munashe and Joshua but they are now serving as missionaries in Malawi since August 2018

NB: Don't forget to leave a comment or email us.

thepassionatebeliever@gmail.com